Mind Control
by silentmuse24
Summary: Slight AU. Rogue ran away after the horrors of Long Island, now nineteen, she is found by Logan, bruttally beaten and is taken back to Xavier's to heal, and finds herself falling for the beautiful Dr. Jean Grey.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **_Mind Control_

**Author:** LJ Bard

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

**Feedback:** Yes please!! FEED THE BARD! Review me?

**A/N:** So this is my first attempt at an X-men story, I've always enjoyed the Jean/Rogue pairing, despite that my best friend would kill me if she saw that I wrote it, haha, but either way, please read and review!

--x--

**1.**

A flashback.

_Cages, the stench of burning flesh._

A different time.

_Rain, cold and slick as ice._

Memories.

_Screams filling the dead silence, incomprehensible words being chanted. Prayers. Prayers of hope, prayers for a miracle, an escape._

_GET OUT!!_ My heart hammered wildly in my chest, fluttering like a hummingbirds wings. A sheen of sweat covered my tingling skin and my breathing was labored as I shot up from the familiar and unwelcome nightmares. I regained my bearings as moonlight streamed in through the filthy window of my little hideaway apartment within the city. I took in a shuddering breath and brought my knees upto my chest, hugging them to me, taking comfort in the touch of my own skin, my own body.

"Damnit,"I cursed, my thick accent rolling off my tongue, making it sound a little less crude. My eyes scanned the darkness and found that it was only four-thirty in the morning, stars still shone out in the warm August night outside, and I knew that no matter how heavy my body felt, sluggish with a lack of decent rest, I would not find sleep again tonight, I crawled out from my sleeping bag and slipped into my jeans and worn leather hiking boots, I switched out my shirt for a longer-sleeved v-neck, so as to not expose as much of my skin, with its deadly little trick that it held toward any normal human being. I then grabbed my favorite green cloak and snapped the clasp around my shoulders. My stomach growled and I knew that I should take the opportunity with less people around in the streets, to find some food.

I climbed down the fire escape looking over my shoulder at the bright lights of New Orleans, I sighed, my travels had brought me so far from New York, far as possible from that place, and those people. My heart wrenched, I hated to think of it that way, but ever since the incident at Long Island, I had run, I had no choice, solitude was the only way I could keep the ones I loved safe, keep _myself_ safe.

_Stop thinking about them, Rogue, you are not like them, you'll never be like them, or anyone else, you're better off here_... I sighed as my internal debate continued as it usually did, I skimmed the streets, looking for a decent shop I could break into. This had become routine, I never stayed in one city too long for fear of being caught, I had become a missionary, mostly taking on jobs that I could find from mutants and human alike, anyone who paid me enough, but times like now, where I had not worked in a few weeks, money was scarce and I was forced to go back to the good ole ways, five-finger discounts...

I managed to sneak past a bakery's alarms and grab a few fresh loaves of bread and a couple pastries, seeing as that would do me for now, my mind wandered back, however, willingly on its own as I brushed a silver lock of hair behind my ear.

_I wonder how they all are, if they miss me? _

_**Ha, yeah, if they missed me, then why did nobdy come to find me?**_

_Logan promised he'd always find and take care of me..._

_**Logan had bigger issues than dealing with some kid who practically forced herself into his life...**_

_Bigger issues meaning Jean Grey..._

_**Of course...**_

I sighed, Jean... of all the people I met at Xavier's school, she was the one that had never really left my mind, or heart. Her kind affection and talented grace, not to mention patience with me, had affected me deeply. I missed her, I missed the school, I missed having a place where I could let my hair down and just relax, because people looked at me like I was a normal person, yet...

_The machine spun so fast, a white light shimmered from the top, pain, searing, white-hot pain shot through my very core, burning me from the inside out, I screamed, but could hear nothing over the loud whooshing of the machine, round and round._

_Stop torturing yourself with those memories, damnit_.

_**And do what? Think about the memories that don't belong to me?**_

I shuddered, nearly three years had passed, and still I held no relief that the memories I'd recieved from Magneto would ever dissappear from my mind, they were branded into my consciousness, and I could not help but hate the man who had destroyed my teenage life even moreso than this terrible gift I'd been cursed with.

"Marie D'Ancanto,"I froze, my mouth halfway filled with pastry. My senses went on high alert, something I had a dear friend to thank for, I sniffed... Male, and by the accent, most deffinitely cajun, my hearing piqued and I could hear the steady rise and fall of his feet as he approached from the rear left, side stepping himself, from the corner alley.

"Who are you?"I growled, swallowing my food and refusing to move, if I ran, there was no telling if I'd be caught.

"There is no need to know my name, chere,"his thick accent was a deep stacatto, very soothing, _mutant_. "Only that today, you're plans are involving just me capturing you."

A sturdy foot digging back into the ground, the sound of air whooshing past as my captor leapt for me, I sidestepped quickly to avoid and found myself being dragged to the ground... _Net, oh shit!_

I rolled out from under and found my grappling, soon, my captor, a brunette male with strange ruby eyes, was leaping back at me, tugging at the net, I found my blade and slashed through, managing to escape.

"You are a feisty one, chere,"the cajun complimented. "But you will not be able to run forever!" He hurled himself at me and caught me by the ankle, twisting his wrist, I felt my bones snap, I cried out in agony, then collapsed, my world spinned around me. _Focus, Rogue, stay focused, push out past the pain._ I growled, whirled around as I felt his hand grab my shoulder, and

_CRACK!!_

"_Merde!_"I recognized the French easily, and smirked a little cockily when I felt his nose cartliage shatter beneath my elbow. His grip loosened to wear I also elbowed him in the stomach, causing a deep, gutteral groan and then another string of swears from the Cajun that I missed as I found my footing and limped as fast as I could away from him, my ankle throbbed and felt as if it had been sliced clean in two. _That's it, Rogue... push..._

_**I wont be pushing for long, I have to find refuge to bandage this before I really injure myself**__..._

"It is pointless to run, Marie,"called the cajun, at the end of the alley where I now limped, helplessly toward a large brick wall, skillfully I began digging my good foot and fingers into the sturdy brick to climb, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I felt an electric charge surge around me, suddenly, several thin strands of pain seared around my body, like blades cutting into my arms, my legs my back, and releasing little bursts of energy that were like a live wire to my skin, I screamed, before I felt my hair being ripped from my scalp as the cajun yanked me down to Earth, a crash landing, his face was smeared in blood and he growled menacingly at me. "_Tu m'emmerdes!_"(You're bugging the shit out of me!) I noticed a staff in his arms, a blade on one end, and a royal flush of cards in his other. _Cards?_

He punched at my stomach, knocking the wind out of me, his gloved fist came into contact with my cheek, causing me to see stars as my teeth rattled in my jaw. I kicked, punched, he clawed at me again, a stab of pain in my midsection, the blade. I hissed.

"End of the line, Marie,"he spat. A voice suddenly growled in my head, ferally, I could hear the anger of Logan roaring inside of my spirit.

"My name is _Rogue_, and you can go to Hell,"I shot back and lunged at my opponent through his midsection, I ripped a glove off of my hand with my teeth and grabbed his throat.

The cajun stopped his attack and a cold dread swept over my insides as my body absorbed his gift, _Kinetic Energy... Hypnotism, hmm, well that explains the charm.. ugh..._ I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the unwanted collection of memories sifting through my mind like photos.

I felt his power seeping, like his life, helplessly through our fingertips, _Find it, hurry..._ I felt my power drawing closer to his death and finally, I recognized the next memory...

_"Find Anna Marie D'Ancanto, she goes by Rogue, be careful of her skin, its lethal,"came the dark, twisted voice._

_"And if I capture her? What's in it for me?"asked the Cajun, Remy._

_"You're freedom for a start, second, a hefty sum of money-"_

"AUGHHH!"I released him. Remy collapsed to the ground, pale, unconscious, weak. I had to get away, I could not risk touching him again to figure out what it was he had tried to kidnap me for, the stinging in my side became more apparent and my ankle screamed to be relieved of pressure from standing. I hobbled away, praying that whenever Remy woke up, he'd be somewhat able to free himself from whatever demons haunted him, I shuddered, casting aside the memories... I hate this gift.

--x--

I had managed to reach the Kentucky-Ohio border before endless days and countless nights had seamed together in my brain, fogging my memory with the thought of what day it was and how long it had been since I'd eaten or even stopped to rest. The cuts I'd recieved from Remy's cards had long since healed, thanks to my minor abilities, but the one sharp cut that had been stung by his blade remained open and oozing, slowly with pus. _Probably poisoned_, I continued to stop for water every so often, I had to keep moving, I knew I was being followed by others, Remy's thoughts led me to the source of at least five other mutants out searching for me, thankfully, none had yet to find me just yet, but I could not help my paranoid state as I continued on, in pain, starving and sleep-deprived, hoping the next person I'd pass was not my target, I had no sense of direction, I knew not where I was or where I was headed, I just needed shelter, safety. I travelled moreso at night then by day, knowing it was easier to conceal myself, I had no fresh clothes or any soft padding than grass to sleep in.

I managed to find a couple who'd left their dinner out as they were more interested in tonsel hockey than their food and stole the half-eaten burger and crusted onion rings, wolfing them down as fast as my mouth would inhale without choking myself, and then found a meadow between the forest outside of Beaufort to rest my head. The stinging in my side only grew worse and as I hissed in pain, my heart stopped, my eyes snapped open as I caught a whiff of something that was deffinitely not forest-friendly. A glint of bright orange flashed and I shot up.... _Fire_...

I stood, surrounded, the flames whipping around me in a massive speed, I coughed, and tried to regain my senses, Lighter fluid? No. My blood ran cold as I heard a familiar, yet distinctly harder laugh.

"Not so tough now without Bobby, are ya, Rogue?" _John? _

There was another, the wind was too light earlier for the flames to be whipping in this direction like a tornado of inferno. A boy, no older than myself or John with bright silver hair, caused me to shudder, but his face was younger, much younger than that of the last man with silver hair I'd come across, his blue eyes were cocky, indignant. He laughed as his legs carried him faster than I could see, around and around, whipping the flames up like scorching tongues, licking at me, I backed away, only to realize I had no escape. I squeezed my eyes shut from the sting of heat.

"Get her,"I heard John order the silver-haired boy.

"Got her,"I was dragged, forcibly through the fire, feeling it rip at my clothes, burning, sticking liquid heat to my skin, I screamed. Yanking away, I hadn't realized what I'd done until I was suddenly clutching at both of them, as they tried to settle me, with bare hands...

_...Parents turning me away because I had burned my own brother to death..._

_...Getting laughed at by the cheerleaders because the guys on the track team labeled me a freak for being so fast..._

_...Torching my family home..._

_...Running fast and far enough to escape the shame, the hurt, the pain of being different..._

_...Destroying everything I'd known in a burst of fire..._

_Stop. Stop! STOP!!!_ I released them, and they collapsed, I fell to my knees, tears streaking my ashen face, I wailed, my hands on fire, the pain in my side searing like the flames I'd just narrowly missed, I heard sirens in the distance... _Run..._

My pace had quickened, my lungs felt as if I were just taking a mere stroll, my legs pumping wildly, naturally, the dark scenery flying past, yet I could see everything, every minor detail, I narrowly dodged trees, curves, paths, with ease, hindered by nothing more than my ankle, which was still healing, but seemed unnafected by the immense pounding of my feet on the ground, so fast it felt as if I were flying...

_Get away... get far away... Where no one will find you... Safety._

Safe. What did that word mean anymore?My stomach growled, I was hungry again, my eyes grew heavier, my limbs as well, I needed rest, I needed haven, I needed comfort, my loneliness was becoming harder to bear, without a clue of what I was doing I found myself getting dizzier as my world spun around me, my legs pumping, my lungs burning now, I couldn't stop running, not until I was safe... but even my body would not meet those demands and soon my world blurred and slowly faded into black.

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**AN:** Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? REVIEW ME ANYWAY! They make me smile :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

**Feedback:** Yes please!! FEED THE BARD! Review me?

**A/N:** You guys rock, I didn't expect so many reviews!! Keep 'em comin! Here's chapter two; and a slight ps- **bold is for telepathic conversation** _italics is Rogue's thoughts __**bold italics is her inner turmoil**_

--x--

**2.**

_"...Found her outside of the grounds, maybe two miles or so... wasn't moving..."_

_"...Her pulse is racing... she has second degree burns..."_

_"...That cut looks infected... her breathing is normal, thank God..."_

_"...Couldn't believe it was even her... she's so grown..."_

_"...Looks like someone left her for dead..."_

_"...I'll kill them..."_

_"...Settle yourself, Logan... you're upsetting her..."_

_"...Oh, Marie..."_

Voices. So many voices. Fading in and out. Memories. Distant memories, so long ago. _Not mine_. My body screamed, I was still in so much pain. _Please, please let me die_.

**Don't say that, Marie... you're going to live...**

_Jean?_ My heart fluttered... Darkness, all I could see... where was I?

**Calm yourself, Marie, you're safe now, just rest.. let us help you heal...**

_Where am I? Why is it so dark? I'm scared..._ I swore at myself for feeling so distraught, so cold, so childlike. Then, I yelped, internally, at the mental caress I felt, it was as warm as the sun, kissing my skin on a beautiful summer day, and held the softness of an embrace, _Jean..._

**...Rest now...**

The embrace did not ebb, and slowly the conscious thoughts in my mind slipped away and again, I was cloaked in complete darkness.

--x--

"Rogue?"a deep, reassuring voice was the first thing I could contemplate as I awoke. "Can you hear me? Blink once if you understand,"I blinked. "Good, you're back."

Though I could not see anything rather than the bright lights shining at me from above, I knew that voice. I could hear the spin of automatic wheels, churning with mobility before halting, closer to my body.

"How are you feeling?"Professor Xavier asked. I blinked again, this time out of habit, and then, my consciousness seemed to render to me, and I realized where I was... My pulse increased, _No. No no no. No!_

**Calm down, Rogue, it's alright, you're safe, relax...** The Professor's voice tried to break through and help calm me mentally, however, it did not soothe my fears.

"Away.."my voice hoarse, throat dry and parched from a lack of water, I blinked again, an IV ran through my arm, nutritioning me with proper vitamins and hydration, yet my voice still seemed so _raw_. "Cant-"

"Don't talk, you're throat suffered a rough experience, choking in all those toxic fumes from the pyre,"Professor Xavier exclaimed. For a moment, I was blank before I reminded myself that he was a telepath, of course he would know everything that had happened to me...

"Need... away.. cant- be. _Here,_"I tried to sit up, the pain in my side suddenly back and I hissed, falling back and swearing loudly in my mind, certain that some of my profanity would even bring a blush to the Professor's face.

"You're still badly injured, we tried to do what we could to help heal you, but you've suffered a lot these past few days, I must insist you rest, once you are back in health, it will be upto you whether you wish to remain here,"the Professor admonished.

I glared at him, he knew what I was thinking, there was no need for me to speak when he saw my fears, my worries of hurting others and he had to understand why I'd left... I could not be here, around people, around _anyone_. An elevator '_dinged_', a door slid open on its track and then, _comfort_. Sweet citrus and jasmine wafted from Jean as she approached the bedside.

"You're awake,"Jean's eyes lit up behind her wire-rimmed frames. No memory compared to what I stared at now, her hair was shorter than I remembered, cropped and spiked behind her ears, (**A/N: think X2**), but still the same shade of deep red, her smile was genuine and kind, her beauty had not faltered over the past few years, merely grown to accentuate her. The slow blush that crept up her neck soon matched my scorching face as I recalled that Jean was also a telepath and could hear what I was thinking, I prayed that the Professor was not paying me any mind.

"Jean, I trust you'll see to Miss D'Ancanto's wounds, ladies,"he bid his exit and then it was just the two of us. Jean set to work immediately, granting me my wish of praying she'd just let my thoughts go and not bother me about them. Carefully, with gloved hands, Jean tended to the fading burns along my arms and neck, and then unrolled a heady strip of gauze taped to my side where the now oozing purple gash still sat, she rubbed a chemical on it and I hissed.

"I'm sorry,"I winced as the pain settled to a dull roar. "You're very lucky, normal humans that have been subjected to this poison would have been dead within hours, when did you recieve this?"she asked. It dawned on me that unlike the Professor, Jean was genuinely unaware of my exhibitions these past few days, meaning she had not privvied into my mind without my permission, the thought warmed me, but also made me feel miserable for reliving the tale to her in vivid technicolor. She listened, patiently holding off until I finished with waking up moments ago, until she looked away, frowning.

"You're upset,"I stated, _thanks for that inclination Captain Obvious...what's next? Hey Jean, guess what? The sky is blue!_ A hint of a smile cricked at the corner of Jean's mouth and I realized she must have accidentally overheard my thought and I smiled at her. She looked back up at me and I was shocked to see tears in her eyes.

"Not upset, just scared, its been so long, and I've wondered about you-"she stopped herself. I suddenly wish I had her power. But then, I'd never curse this on anybody, mutation, no matter what the form, because even though many see it as gifts, its always a curse to the beholder.

"I'm okay, I've suffered before, the attack caught me by surprise, mostly John, I didn't expect to see him among my band of capturers,"Jean's scowl darkened.

"I figured thats what would have happened, Magneto just couldn't stop himself from making John into one of his own with his huge talk about brotherhood and the matter, oh Marie, I'm so sorry this happened to you-"

"Don't,"I snarled, I blinked away the tears of frustration. "Don't ever feel sorry for me, what happens, happens, its not your's or anybody elses fault but my own for existing-"

"How could you say that?"Jean gasped. Her gloved hand touched my face and turned it to me, normally I would shun such a gesture, knowing it only reminded me how dear a real touch was. "Don't think that, don't you _ever_ think that!"she whispered hoarsely. "You are so much more than the monster you see yourself as, Marie."

I looked away. I didn't need this, not now. I needed to heal, focus on healing myself so I could leave this place-

"Oh,"I glanced up and saw the hurt in Jean's face, but she masked it well, as quickly as it had come. She heard me... _Stay out of my head, Jean, please..._ I requested, as nicely as I could consider doing so.

**Sorry...**she apologized mentally. Then, our thoughts were disconnected by the elevator opening once more. I tensed, several different presences, I could smell a familiar ahead of them all.

"I'll be damned, took you long enough there, kid!"Logan smiled at me with a teasing glint in his hazel eyes. He was wearing his usual ratty clothes and came to my bed, hugging me quite carefully. "Welcome back!"

"You're gonna strangle her, Logan,"Scott's teasing added as I noticed Scott, and felt a rumble deep in my chest at seeing the handsome man in shades. Scott frowned and I faintly heard Jean smother a chuckle. Logan's gift had seemed to come back full throttle, hence, my being wary around Summers- I mean Scott. I sighed, so this was how I woke up so soon...

"Logan, why did you touch me?"I whined. Logan merely shrugged and looked at Jean.

"Rogue!"I froze. _Crap!_ Bobby's smile was not nearly as infectuous as it had been once upon a time. I honed in on him and Kitty Pryde, holding hands and smiling at me, Kitty looked as if she wanted to tackle me in an enormous hug, I'm glad she didn't. Bobby looked heartsick and smiled painfully. "We heard you were back, how are you feeling?"he asked.

_How do you think you'd feel if you'd absorbed three.. make that four different mutants powers, feelings and memories in the span of a few days, been burned alive, stabbed and sliced with playing cards? Idiot_. I thought darkly. Jean's face darkened but her eyes still held a smile at my surliness toward my ex-boyfriend.

"Tired,"I responded.

"Well, best let you rest up then, take it easy, kid,"Logan kissed my hair and Scott waved, keeping his distance, I saw him touch Jean's elbow with a knowing smile. I withstood the snarl that I wanted to rip at him. Kitty's bubbly eagerness could not withhold her as she pranced over to me and wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders, I could feel her phase just to be safe as she touched me, and squealed.

"Once you're better we SO have to go shopping, you have no idea how much we've missed you, I have so much to catch you up on!!"

"Okay, Kitty, let's let her go back to bed,"Bobby challenged with a grin. "We'll see her later, won't we, Rogue?"he asked, his eyes questioning and worried. I knew that he was referring to the way I'd up and left years ago without telling anybody. I could not promise him I'd stay.

"Whatever,"I shrugged. Kitty clapped her hands giddily before kissing my head as Logan had and then grabbing Bobby by the arm and dragging him away.

"See you, Rogue!"Kitty chirped. I sighed and fell back into the pillows, my body was weary, but my mind was so alive.

"You really should rest,"Jean said, returning with a new bandage for my side.

"Is this ever going to heal?"I asked, patience wearing thin as I felt my other wounds getting so much better, even my ankle was fully mobile.

"The poison is making it difficult, I'm surprised this Remy guy even had it on him, its very rare, legends said that it was once used to rid mutants of the Earth,"Jean said, applying a salve, I gritted my teeth against the stinging that seemed ten times worse with the salve, like rubbing salt into an open wound. Tears stung my eyes.

"Really? Well, too bad it didn't work- YEOUCH!"I screeched as Jean's finger applied pressure in surprise of my statement and it felt as if the cut had re-opened. I swore repeatedly under my breath, ignoring Jean's cold stare.

"What did I tell you about saying such things around me?"Jean asked, hurt.

"Well you could have warned me that you'd make me hurt worse if I did! I'll wait this time, sheesh!"Jean applied the bandage and did not speak, still stung by my retort.

Mentally, Jean turned all the lights but the one overhead, off in the lab, things around the worktable began to pick and clean themselves up, needles dispensed themselves in proper containers. I watched as Jean flawlessly jotted down something on a clipboard as items flew around her, stashing themselves away, as if by magic, yet all of it just the workings of her brilliant mind. I heard a sniffle. I looked up and noticed Jean wiping her eye beneath her glasses.

"Jean,"I whispered, knowing she'd hear me. Her eyes looked up.

"If you're feeling upto it by tommorow I can move you into a room so you don't have to stay down here by yourself,"Jean offered.

"I prefer the solitude,"I murmured, darkly.

"You can still have it, you're old enough to have a single room, so you need not worry about roommates or... Kitty,"she smiled at my thoughts. Kitty had been a dear friend to me during my brief stay at the school, it was true, but now, I just dont think I could tolerate all that happy-go-lucky nature, not after spending near three years isolating myself from all forms of friendship, comfort or love. Jean still stood there looking at me, expectantly.

"Sure,"I agreed and thanked my stars when she left the room, I could be alone.. again, yet somehow now, the emptiness seemed even more hollow without her.

* * *

**AN: **Soo, another chapter down and no tomatoes being thrown yet! *SPLAT* Spoke too soon :\ REVIEW!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

**Feedback:** Yes please!! FEED THE BARD! Review me?

**A/N:** Yes, chapter three has arrived, keep those reviews on a comin!

--x--

**3.**

Pain. Scorching fire running through me. In the distance I heard a strangled scream, a wailing like a wounded animal. I tried to cry out for help, but the tearing from my side crippled me, my heart beat wildly and in uneven incriments. A thought passed through my mind...

_I'm dying._

The wailing continued, I thrashed, but it only caused the fire to burn hotter, I was burning alive, I couldn't see, it was dark, where was the fire? Had John and his cronie found me? Had I been captured? Was this some sick form of torture?

**Marie.**

_Jean.._I wanted to yell at her to run, but she was nowhere near, I had to spare her, anyone near me, the pain I was suffering, I couldn't inflict this on others, then again, maybe this was exactly what they felt when I touched them? I did not know. _Kill me, just end this now. _

**Marie, wake up, please.**

I could not. I was stuck. Somewhere between my subconsciousness and the real world, my body could not obey my mind, was this a dream? Was I really imagining this?

**Marie, come back, come back to me, Marie**. I focused on the voice, that heavenly lilt that I could not deny. _Jean, kill me.. _I begged. _Kill me now, please make this pain just stop..._

"Marie!"I awoke, the strangled cry dying on my lips, my throat was dry, scratchy again as if I had burning embers lodged there. My body shook violently, as if I were having a seizure and was fully aware of it, covered in sweat, I realized that the wounded animal cry I'd thought about before was coming from me, my chest rumbled as a whine escaped my throat, Jean, Logan, Scott, Professor Xavier, they were all there. Jean was scrambling to pull her gloves on, everybody just watched, helpless as I continued to writhe in pain. Nobody could touch me, I was a hazard to them. Logan seemed tortured as he watched.

"Jean!"Professor Xavier warned.

"She's hurting, Professor, I can't concentrate, please, just give me a moment-"Jean breathed.

"Not without the gloves!"Scott snapped.

"Get out, Scott, take Logan with you,"Jean demanded. Suddenly, I felt a gloved hand touch my skin and I screamed. It was so _hot_, the touch ate at my skin like acid, burning my flesh.

"Jean!"Professor Xavier warned again.

_Stop it! Please, just stop this._

"Marie, calm down, please,"Professor Xavier tried to enter my mind, he flinched and wheeled back. "My word, she's _healing_!"he croaked.

"Professor?"Scott asked. A scorching hand touched me again, my forehead, I cried, screaming and wailing, my arms flinging out helpless, it had to stop, I had to stop...

My world went black.

--x--

What has happened to me?

That is the first thought that crossed my mind as I regained consciousness. The second was a touch.

A tender, swift touch, caressing the hair back from my forehead. An unfamiliar contact, my eyes suddenly snapped open as I caught a glimpse of uncovered skin.

"It's okay, Marie,"Jean reached for me as I flinched away and scrambled to the corner of my bed like a spooked animal.

The third, I was in a new room, no longer covered by steel tables or bright lights, but a smooth, cream-based wall. Jean was sitting on the edge of a twin matress in the corner of the carpeted room, a desk sat directly across from us under a window that filtered in bright sunlight.

"Marie?"I jumped at the touch on my wrist, the touched tightened to a hold, and then I realized what was happening...

"You're-"

"Touching you? Yes. I am,"Jean smiled. I sat there, shocked beyond my wildest dreams as I felt the fresh contact of skin for the first time in nearly five years. No gloves, no clothing barriers, just Jean's hand gently holding my wrist, the pad of her thumb stroking the inside delicately.

"How-?"I croaked, still not believing what I was seeing, _feeling_.

"The poison spread over the past few nights, I hadn't realized just how much was left in your bloodstream, for that I apologize immensely for the pain you suffered-"

"Wh-"she held up a hand to silence me.

"The poison, as I told you, was rare, it's true, this poison in particular was once used to weed out mutants from the human population, it acts as a neutralizer toward the gene that causes mutation in our system, in your case, the mutation you had was on your skin, thus, you probably felt as if you're whole body was reacting to the poison that came through and destroyed the uncontrollable part of your genes,"Jean explained. I wrapped my head around the knowlege, sitting their in silence for a good while.

"So.. am I like- not a mutant anymore?"I asked. Jean smiled, but it held sadness.

"Unfortionately, I cannot answer that, only time will tell, for now all I can tell you is that though you seem to be able to touch people again, its not guaranteed that it'll stay that way forever, we've never seen this poison work on a mutant like it has you before, Marie... and as for the other things, your gifts that you _inherited_ from the other mutants.. well, those seem to have stuck onto you permanently-"Jean explained. I blinked, confused, but then it dawned on me that I still very much could feel Magneto's steely grip, Logan's enhanced senses of sight and smell, the slight tingle in my hands where I could feel John's pyrotechesis and the pumping in my legs, ready to whip around at the speed of light from the silver-haired boy. I groaned.

"I'm sorry, Marie,"Jean said, lacing our hands together, palm to palm. I looked to our joined hands and then to Jean, then back to our hands and revelled in the soft touch, I tried to grasp the feeling of the calloused pads along her fingers, each delicate line, worried that any second I'd have to retract my hand because I'm sucking the life from her. Jean's chuckle brought me from my dark thoughts.

"You're alright, Marie, really, I'm just fine,"Jean brought our joined hands up to her lips and kissed my knuckles, I felt my stomach twist in a knot and then release itself, my heart rate picked up and I struggled to keep my thoughts to myself.

"Is it just you? Or.. can I touch others as well?"I asked, fearing the answer.

"So far it seems like you're free to touch who you please, but, I'd still say, to be on the safe side, to take it easy, it can be a bit overwhelming and exciting, I understand, but emotions have a high tendency to bring out a mutant's abilities and I'd like to think that you would want to keep your newfound gift as long as possible?"Jean pried with a smile.

I nodded fervently, still too amazed to speak. Outside I heard the chiming of the dinner gong, and my stomach suddenly made itself known. Jean laughed.

"Best get downstairs and feed that monster, shall we?"she asked. I squeezed her hand.

"Jean.."I paused, blushing at my sudden thought, pushing it away, I wanted to let go of her hand, but at the same time, I wanted the touch, so so bad. This was what had forced me to estrange myself from others for so long, now I was.. well semi-normal, and I couldn't help but be just a bit selfish. Jean must have picked up on my thoughts again because she smiled and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before we headed down to the dining hall in tow, she did not release my hand at all.

"Rogue! Rogue I heard- Oh my _God_, its true!"Kitty yelped happily as she spotted my and Jean's interlaced fingers. "You can touch! I knew you could do it! Congratulations!!"She wrapped me in a fierce hug, so warm and bubbly, that despite my habit to want to release her, I merely threw my arms around her waist and smiled happily.

"The witch eventually could step out in the rain without being melted then,"Logan's teasing smile filled my vision as he threw his arm around my shoulders and I curled into his chest, my face was going to break, that was certain, if my smile didn't stop stretching!

"Way to go, Rogue,"Scott smiled. My mood was just too happy right now for me to care about the animosity Logan's feelings caused for me to have toward Scott. I hugged him as well as placed a kiss on his cheek, he was just as shocked as I was when I pulled back, only to be mauled into a hug by Ororo, whom I had not seen at all since I'd returned to Xavier's.

"Rogue, sweetheart, I've missed you!"Storm boasted, twirling me around, we laughed. "Oh, I heard the news and got home as soon as I could! Look at you!"she beamed, running her hands freely through my hair. "You're practically a grown woman now!"

"Nineteen,"I stated proudly. Ororo smiled and touched my chin in a motherly fashion.

"Well, still not too old for your own britches, that's for sure,"Logan ruffled my hair, I growled.

"Rogue, hey come sit with us!"Bobby had joined and touched my arm, freely, smiling. Kitty grabbed my other arm.

"Yeah, lets eat I'm sure you're starving!"she chirped and tugged me along, I looked back at Jean, hesitantly and noticed her in deep conversation with Ororo, but she looked up at me as soon as I had and noticed my distress.

"Bobby, Kitty, you'll need to make another date, Rogue still needs plenty of rest, come along, Marie,"I was steered away, not bothering to feel too bad at the pitiful looks on Bobby and Kitty's faces as I gathered a take-out box of as much food as I could pile and headed back upstairs to my room, Jean right behind me.

"Thanks for joining me,"I murmured. Jean smiled.

"I know that you want to have someone close by right now, just not everybody,"Jean added.

"Yeah, I care about everyone but its just difficult, right now. I mean I left and I spent so many years alone, trying to just get by, keeping everyone at arms length..."I spoke more to myself, semi-aware of Jean listening to my speech and my thoughts.

**You're not alone anymore, Marie**, I jumped at the sudden voice in my mind, but then Jean's hand in my own calmed me.

I smiled at her, thankful for the contact and after I'd finished eating, our hands staying linked, I leaned into the crook of her arm, and curled up against her as she laid back against my headboard. _Is this okay?_ I asked mentally, wondering if she were still reading me.

**You're just fine**. My grin grew even larger as I breathed in the citrus-y smell of her hair and twined my legs with hers. _Thank you,_ I thought. I felt Jean's chin turn and then a soft kiss press to my brow before I nuzzled her neck, enjoying the warmth of human affection, something I thought I'd never feel again and surely, was scared as Hell to lose it now.

**Don't worry about any of that, just focus on the here and now**. I did as she told me and listened to the steady rhythm of her heart beating beneath my ear, the swift rise and fall of her chest, the warm breath tickling my ear and the gentleness in which her arms held me along with the strength of her embrace, as if she were trying very hard to ensure me that no harm could come my way, as long as we were together. And for a brief moment within my world, I felt truly _safe_.

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**AN:** REVIEWWWW!! I'll give you a cookie?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

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**A/N:** Alright, tryin to wrap this up as steadily as I can without dissappointing anybody, please continue to review and enjoy!

--x--

**4.**

I awoke to the horrible feeling of absorbing. I yelped, wrenching myself away from Jean who had already woken and was now gasping, pale, and weak, but not hurt, I scrambled to get away from her, seeing her veins in stark contrast to her pallid skin, her brown eyes wide and alert, she looked at me, careful, knowing I was easy to turn and run.

"Marie,"she croaked, her voice just barely above a whisper. "Marie, it's okay-"

"No it isnt! Oh my God, Jean I nearly killed you!"I could feel her, Jean, all over me, she was inside my head, I was in her's I could hear things, thoughts, dreams, it was dark. _Shit!_

I did the only thing I could think of, I turned on my heel and began running, thankful for the gift of speed I'd still kept as I flew out of the mansion, through the courtyard, just far enough to where I could no longer hear the haunting voices swimming in my head uncontrollably. I curled into a ball, shaking, unsure of where exactly I'd stopped, it had been a blur, but I was in an open area, my skin felt hot, the breeze was cool on my skin, I shuddered as I looked at its glow in the moonlight, running a finger along my goosebump ridden arm.

_I hurt her..._ my eyes glazed over with tears. _I was healed and now I'm a freak again, I can't touch anything without killing it... _tears spilled from my eyes as the realization that no matter what happened I'd never be alright again. The brief hours I had spent, curled in Jean's arms, were the most treasured pieces of memories and hope I'd had left, that hope was gone, now all there was was the fleeting ghost whisper of her warm embrace. Oh, how I missed her already.

_Can't go back... never go back, not again_. My heart broke, shattering into pieces at the sad truth that I needed to get as far away as possible from Xavier's school and any other living human being as possible.

My body tensed, I could feel someone else's presence. Sniffing the air, my body reflexively jumped into alert.

"Little girls shouldn't go out at night by themselves,"a distinct Cajun accent caused me to release a growl.

"Totally,"came the squeakier male voice of the speedy male.

"She never did learn bright lessons, maybe she should've staid at the school,"John chimed.

"Maybe you should have never left,"I growled, feeling my hands grow hot as I set them aflame, I saw John step back in genuine shock at my ability to create the flame, whereas he was only able to control it. But the shock soon gave way to pig-headedness. He twitched his finger and I fought for control of the fire in my hands, as I shot them at the three captors. Speedy Gonzales was flying from one point to the next, trying to make me lose my bearing, Remy flew at me with his staff, blade pointed at my heart. I dodged mechanically and thrusted my foot into his chest, knocking the wind out of him.

"_Baise!_"he swore.

"Haha, catch me if you can, little girl!"I then called his bluff by running at the kid with Remy's cards, charging them kinetically I fired them off at him, almost laughing at his fear as he scrambled to dodge them before John's flames torched the cards themselves.

"What's wrong, Rogue? Can't take the heat?"John taunted. I growled, whirled on him and sent a flame toward his smirk, unprepared, it hit him, fully in the chest, had he not had the ability to douse flames as easily as he could control them, he would be completely on fire by now.

"You little-"

"_Marie!_"my heart froze, in the distance, Jean was running toward me, fully clothed, Ororo, Logan, and Scott on her heels, Logan looked murderous as he charged toward us, claws out, John shot a flame toward Scott, who intercepted it with a ray from his glasses, Ororo spun in a deadly windstorm, trying to capture the speedy young male. Remy flipped a deck of cards and then kinetically shot them toward Jean who froze them in mid-air with her mind.

_**...I'm gonna tear that punk's head off...**_

_**...I hope Logan controls his damn temper....**_

_**...This kid flies... ugh.. control Ororo...**_

_**...Marie...**_

The voices in my head. I'd forgotten I could hear, no wonder they all seemed so incredibly loud, I heard Remy's attack stance before he even charged at me, I whirled around, grabbed his staff and flipped him over, breaking off the poisoned blade with my heel I twisted and shoved the staff end into the silver-haired boy's gut as I heard him think about capturing me.

_**..Fucking little girl, oompfh!.. Owwwww...**_

_**...Bobby's little bitch won't see this one coming...**_

I twisted as I heard John, and using the weakened power of Jean's mental forcefield, staved off the oncoming firewall. I struggled to remain in control...

_Why fight? Why bother to let them lose? You could end this all right here? Let it go... maybe it'll be quick._

**MARIE! **Jean's voice shouted in my head. **Stop it, stop thinking like that right now! Whether you wish it or not there are people in this world that want you here, you're not an abomination!**

_How can you say that? I nearly killed you! In my SLEEP!_ I challenged, feeling the flames grow hotter as my control weakened. I heard the fight going on behind me, before I felt the warmth of Jean's mental embrace hold me steady.

**Marie, what you did was natural, I knew that your powers probably would manifest themselves back again, but that still doesn't matter to me, these things you do, they're apart of you, they make you who you are...**

_A freak..._I growled, snarling externally as I thrusted my shield out and around me.

I heard Logan tackle John to the ground then a utterance of curses from Logan's mind and John's fear nearly costing him his life before Scott managed to pull Logan away. The voices... So loud, so out of control, I curled into a ball, uncaring if I died. I cried, I couldn't shut them out... I thought just having the memories was terrible, I thought not sleeping due to burden's that didn't belong to me, was awful, now I could not escape, now I heard _everything_, how did Jean deal with it?

**Marie, let me in...** I faintly heard Jean's voice within the rumbling. Somehow, her voice penetrated my barriers, I could feel Jean's mental embrace tighten around me, like a warm sunny day. She kept me safe, shuffled the thoughts from my mind, helped clear the fog so I could see. **That's it... just let me handle it, I'm here..**

_Jean..._ my world got fuzzy, despite the clearing fog, and I fell into darkness, allowing it to sweep over me comfortably.

--x--

_**Rogue... okay...**_

_**..Awake soon or never?...**_

_**...Hang on kid.. strong...**_

_**Not a quitter...**_

_**..She'll pull through fine..**_

The voices had grown lighter, dimmer, like listening to them from a distance, but I could still make out the distinct voices of each one.

Logan. Ororo. Kitty. Professor Xavier. Jean.

"Marie?"Jean's voice called to me. I was laying down, as I opened my eyes, Jean was leering above me, I could feel her body beside mine, she ran her fingers through my hair... I felt my throat choke... her _gloved _fingers. "Just a precaution, you're not absorbing anything." Jean read.

"Why?"I asked, feeling my eyes sting with tears.

"Professor Xavier wouldn't allow me to be around you without gloves after what happened, but you have not absorbed anything in hours, there's a possibility-"she tried to peel the latex off of her fingers.

"NO!"I cried, and ripped myself away from her embrace, cowering into my corner.

"Marie!"she cried, careful to not come closer, I must have looked like a wild animal at this point, ready to sprint at the nearest sign of movement.

"Please,"I rocked, holding my legs close to my body, taking comfort in my own personal hug, trying to imagine it wasn't like this... "I won't- I _can't_ hurt you again.. please,"I whimpered.

"You're not, Marie, please trust me,"she peeled her glove off and I scampered further, backed into the wall, terrified. "Marie, you're alright, its just you and me."

I shut my eyes, willing the horrid memories away, the voices, the powers, the _curse_. Away. Far away.

**Marie**. A touch. Softer than a feather and warm as the sun. My sun. Pads of fingers caressing my cheek, I felt a slight pull, and I wanted to jerk, but a steady hand held my arm steadfast.

"You're not absorbing enough to hurt me, but you're powers are still there, please believe me, it's alright now, Marie-"Jean whispered. "Look at me."

I could not open my eyes, I feared the image the night before, veins popping from pallid skin, weak, labored breaths, gaunt eyes staring up at me in dissillussioned fear.

"Marie, look at me please,"Jean whispered, closer. **I'm touching you, you're not hurting me... Please trust in me**.

_Can't.. wont.. not again._

**Damnit, Marie...** that was a shock, I was never used to hearing a swearword come from Jean, even mentally, it was strange.

Then, before I could react, a soft pair of lips grazed my own and I yelped, my eyes opening wide, my body instinctively jerked away. I had not kissed anyone since.. **Don't go**, I heard.

Jean kissed me again, and though I struggled at first, my fear for harming her slowly dissolved as I felt her moan into my mouth and then, tentaively, a warm, wet tongue slid along my bottom lip and my eyes closed, my want for

the contact overriding my need to keep her safe. My head exploded in a whirl of color, as I reached in and found our internal connection, she was apart of me as I was her, I felt all her feelings as she kissed me and I returned the kiss..

_Wow_... As we broke apart for needed air I stared at Jean in shock, unable to believe what had just happened.

**I told you, there are people in this world that love and care for you.. I want you here, Marie, I want you to be with me, always...** she did not break our connection.

_What about Scott?_ I asked, remembering their relationship from way back.

**We haven't been together in a while, he knows how I feel about you.. he understands.. please, Marie, you're killing me here, I need to know the truth, but I wont pry...** I understood what she was asking.

_Yes.. I'll stay,_ I thought, without hesitation. Though it would be hard, I could feel that my gifts were becoming more controlled, I could feel it in the way Jean touched me, how I was managing to not hurt her, I could control it. I could sense her happiness before it even crossed her mind, and my face broke out into a wide grin as she kissed me once more.

My hands were everywhere, lifting her shirt, helping shed my pajama pants, pulling the scrunchee from her hair, leading her hands down my body, as we pressed together, skin on skin, heat against heat, no barriers, just us.

"I love you,"she breathed into me.

_I love you right back,_ I thought, knowing she did not need any further explanation. It was true, I loved her, apart of me always knew that and I accepted it greatly, why question something that felt so right? As we reached for the stars together that night and crashed into each others arms, I had no doubt that this was where I belonged, yes there may be consequences, and we may not always be able to be so close, but to Hell with them for now, we'd deal with the rest later.

xFinx

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**AN:** The end?? Haha, yeup, hope you enjoyed, dont forget to be kind and FEED THE BARD!! Much love to all those who have enjoyed this fic! :)


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